


Taking Responsibility

by pinchess07



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angel! Yuuri, M/M, angel au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 06:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10758594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinchess07/pseuds/pinchess07
Summary: My name is Yuuri! I'm one of the dime-a-dozen angels certified by the Japanese Heaven Federation. I'm 24 celestial years old. My name makes me sound strong and impressive, but... I botched my latest assignment. I still can't accept what happened! I even moved to my charge's place in Detroit and worked hard to help Phichit win the Grand Prix. But Phichit didn't even qualify for the Finals. The pressure had me binge-eating and my poodle died... Mentally, physically and spiritually, I was worse than even Phichit! I was at my worst! It was supposed to be my big day, too... Well, it's all my fault, anyway.I don't have enough power. Not enough to help fulfill Phichit's dream of winning the Grand Prix, anyway. It was the same with my first job—I was supposed to help the Yutopia Akatsuki flourish. All I could do was make sure it survived the economic crisis in Hasetsu, but it's not exactly flourishing. The job after that was no better: I was supposed to help a couple, Nishigori Takeshi and Yuuko, with their lives. They did get married with my help but... they had triplets and an old ice rink to take care of and not enough money. I was reassigned to Phichit right after.And now I was getting reassigned again.





	Taking Responsibility

**Author's Note:**

> Not Beta'ed.

My name is Yuuri! I'm one of the dime-a-dozen angels certified by the Japanese Heaven Federation. I'm 24 celestial years old. My name makes me sound strong and impressive, but... I botched my latest assignment. I still can't accept what happened! I even moved to my charge's place in Detroit and worked hard to help Phichit win the Grand Prix. But Phichit didn't even qualify for the Finals. The pressure had me binge-eating and my poodle died... Mentally, physically and spiritually, I was worse than even Phichit! I was at my worst! It was supposed to be my big day, too... Well, it's all my fault, anyway.  
  
I don't have enough power. Not enough to help fulfill Phichit's dream of winning the Grand Prix, anyway. It was the same with my first job—I was supposed to help the Yutopia Akatsuki flourish. All I could do was make sure it survived the economic crisis in Hasetsu, but it's not exactly flourishing. The job after that was no better: I was supposed to help a couple, Nishigori Takeshi and Yuuko, with their lives. They did get married with my help but... they had triplets and an old ice rink to take care of and not enough money. I was reassigned to Phichit right after.  
  
And now I was getting reassigned again.  
  
\--  
  
"Yuri!"  
  
The voice was sharp and angry enough to make anyone turn around, and I did so with my shoulders already up to my ears, expecting an elderly JHF official to berate me about my latest poor performance. It didn't matter that my name had been mispronounced. My wings quivered anxiously behind me.  
  
Okay, maybe it did matter. Apparently I wasn't the correct Yuri in question. In the corridors of heaven where the JHF angels roamed, there were two noticeably foreign angels. A young one with an angry and mulish expression on his face and an angel old enough to belong to one of the heavenly councils.  
  
The older angel had her hair up in a tight bun, and the forbidding expression on her face and her voice earlier made it clear to Yuuri that the other, younger Yuri had done something wrong. The other Yuri was doing his best to hide behind his shoulder-length blonde hair. His arms were crossed across his chest, and his wings were lowered in submission to the older angel's wings in front of him.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I just wanted to know what was so good about this guy! Why were you requesting him specifically? What can he do that I can't? What's so special about him? Why would you assign Viktor to him?"  
  
I couldn't help but gasp out loud. Asking a council member those questions was very rude. Angels had to follow the council's orders with the absolute belief that the council knew what they were doing. There was no room for _doubts_.  
  
That's what I keep telling myself, anyway. Even as I can't stop doubting their decision to keep me as an angel after I failed and continued on failing my assignments.  
  
My gasp echoed loudly in the large hallway, and the two angels turned their gazes on me. I felt my wings tensing, ready to sweep me into the air and away from the two foreigners at the first sign of anything hostile.  
  
To my incredulity, the older angel's face cleared of irritation and morphed into a pleased mien. I straightened my posture, trying to emulate a rock as best I could. A foreign angel that was _happy_ to see me?  
  
It didn't help that the younger angel looked ready to spit fire when he realized that someone had heard his earlier outburst.  
  
"Unless I'm mistaken, you're Minako's protégé, aren't you?" The older angel asked.  
  
I nodded warily.  
  
"Excellent. I appreciate your fast response. I assume you're here to receive your latest assignment details?"  
  
The younger Yuri seemed to get even angrier at this, and I tried to subtly inch away from him. I turned to the older angel. "I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean about... my fast response? I _am_ here to receive my newest assignment, though."  
  
"So you haven't heard about it yet? Well, it doesn't matter. Please consider accepting it. I have complete faith that you'll be able to make things right with Viktor, despite how bad my own protégé here messed it up," the angel explains.  
  
_Huh?!_  
  
Before I could ask her to clarify what she said, a voice behind us called out my name, pronouncing it the right way this time. "Yuuri!"  
  
"Minako-sensei!" I cried out as she came into view. She was smiling radiantly as she looked at me like I hadn't failed every person ever assigned to me.  
  
"Minako," the older foreigner greeted her. "It's nice to see you again."  
  
"Lilia! Oh, and this is young Yuri, I take it?" Minako-sensei asked, flitting over to the two foreigners, her feet light and her wings flapping excitedly.  
  
"Yes. He's indeed _young."_  
  
Lilia spoke the word young with extreme distaste on her face. Of course, the younger Yuri's hackles were already raised and this just made him explode in rage.  
  
"So what if I'm young?! Why is there even another Yuri here? What's so good about him? He even looks wimpy! I should be the only Yuri--"  
  
He'd rounded on me, and I may have frozen up again, but in my mind, the only thing I could think of was _he's totally underestimating me_.  
  
My wings were arched high behind me, refusing to be cowed by what amounted to a hissing kitten.  
  
"Yura! Control yourself!" Lilia retorted evenly, somehow sounding infinitely more dangerous than her protégé's shouts and posturing. The younger Yuri shut his mouth with a click, proving that he at least had enough self-preservation instincts.  
  
I watched dazedly as Minako-sensei giggled.  
  
\--  
  
"I leave Viktor in your capable hands, then," Lilia stated ten minutes later, before turning to leave. The younger Yuri walked behind her sullenly, but he turned his head to glare at me one last time before disappearing with Lilia.  
  
I clutched the Viktor Nikiforov folder in my hands like my life depended on it.  
  
"Mi-Minako-sensei... am I dreaming? Why was I given a high-profile case like this...? Why did _Madame Lilia_ request me specifically? I-I'm just... I haven't done anything noteworthy! I've failed all my assignments and I don't know wh--"  
  
It's not like I need to breathe to live, but I've spent the last few years in a human body. All of a sudden, I couldn't breathe. My lungs couldn't get enough air, no matter how fast I inhaled. My vision was turning spotty.  
  
I've failed all my assignments so far. There is no way I'll be able to actually help someone like Viktor Nikiforov. The young Yuri has already done more than what I could ever hope to achieve in an assignment.  
  
Viktor Nikiforov is the most decorated skater in history. He's famous all over the world. He lives in a penthouse in a good neighborhood with his poodle. He's rich and handsome and women of all kinds salivate all over him.  
  
Viktor had done all that with _Yuri's_ help. I don't--  
  
A feeling of warmth envelops me and I lose my train of thought. I open my eyes to Minako-sensei's concerned face. I hadn't realized I'd closed them in the first place.  
  
Ah, this is Minako-sensei's grace, calming me, forcing my anxiety back into submission. I haven't felt it in so long, because I've been living on earth with Phichit and I was in Hasetsu before that.  
  
Her wings were cradling mine—and I'd missed that. I haven't stepped into heaven in so long that I'd almost forgotten how it felt like. Minako-sensei was the closest I had to a parent-figure in heaven, and she'd practically raised me since I was a fledgeling. _I'd missed her_.  
  
"Yuuri," she murmurs.  
  
"S-Sensei..." I stutter out after taking a deep breath. "Sorry."  
  
"Don't be. Do you feel better?" She asks softly.  
  
"Y-Yes. Thank you, Minako-sensei," I reply, taking several deep breaths. I can barely stop myself from blurting out _don't take your grace away_.  
  
She doesn't, like she could read my mind. Maybe she could, I don't know. She's more powerful than I am. She does resettle her wings behind her, letting me stretch and resettle my own.  
  
"Who told you that you'd failed your assignments, Yuuri?" She asks, a hint of anger seeping into her tone. I blinked.  
  
"No one, sensei."  
  
"What? You said you failed your assignments, which is ridiculous, really, so I need to know who told you so I can throttle them for making you think you're a failure--"  
  
"No one needed to tell me, Minako-sensei. I already knew," I cut in with a sigh, stopping her tirade. "I was reassigned, after all."  
  
Minako-sensei gaped at me. I don't know why. She was the one who gives me my assignments after I get reassigned, so she should know all about it.  
  
"You think you got reassigned because you _failed?_ What the hell, Yuuri? Have you forgotten everything I've taught you? You can't stay assigned to one person for the rest of your life! Of course you'll get reassigned! Just because you got reassigned doesn't mean you've failed! I would have told you if you'd done something wrong. I would have intervened—just like how Lilia had intervened with her Yuri's assignment. But I didn't intervene in any of your cases. I didn't need to. You did great. You _are_ doing great," Minako-sensei rants. "Where did you even get the idea that you're a failure?"  
  
"That's just it, sensei. I'm not doing great at all. That other Yuri's younger than me and look at what he's accomplished already! Viktor is--"  
  
"Depressed. He's been depressed for a year, maybe more, and that's why Lilia finally intervened. It doesn't matter what the other Yuri has _accomplished_ because his charge isn't happy at all."  
  
I inhaled sharply. Depressed? But Viktor... Viktor has everything, doesn't he? He's at the metaphorical top of the world. Why would he be depressed? He doesn't look depressed. He doesn't act depressed.  
  
Minako-sensei's hands come down on my shoulders, making me look up from my contemplative gaze on the floor.  
  
"Listen to me, Yuuri. I have absolute faith that you'll be able to help Viktor. Maybe it's my fault that you thought failed your previous assignments. But you didn't, okay? I'm proud of you. I was so proud of you that I thought you could handle back-to-back assignments. I didn't know you'd interpret that as failure. You haven't failed, Yuuri. I need you to believe that. I need you to believe in yourself, in your capabilities. You can even take a year off, okay? Victor's situation isn't likely to change drastically in the near future. So take your time and internalize this: You're not a failure. You've done great on all your assignments so far. You've helped them to the best of your abilities, and all your charges are happy and stable. I'm so _proud_ of you, Yuuri," Minako-sensei finishes triumphantly, ruffling my hair. I could barely nod back in my daze, overwhelmed with everything.  
  
\--  
  
_I'm not a failure?_  
  
\--  
  
When I snap back into focus, I'm at the GPF gala, holding a glass of champagne. Viktor Nikiforov's head of silver hair is somewhere in the crowd. Minako-sensei had all but ordered me to take a year off my duties, and honestly, it sounded like a great idea.  
  
However, I couldn't keep the thought of a depressed Viktor Nikiforov out of my head. I wanted to see it for myself. I'm not planning on doing anything just yet. I just wanted to observe him.  
  
He's mesmerizing in a crowd. He knows how to keep attention on him, knows how to please and how to mingle with all the right people. Of course he does, he's been doing it for years. He's mastered it by now.  
  
He's polite. He stays at arms-length, carefully slipping out of anyone's hold whenever anyone invades his personal space.  
  
His smile turns more and more fixed as the gala drags on, and no one notices.  
  
Aside from me, that is. I've spent the past two hours staring at him from my table. My table that is now filled with champagne glasses.  
  
Huh. When did that happen?  
  
It doesn't matter. What matters is--  
  
Is that the _other_ Yuri?  
  
\--  
  
I wake up with a pounding headache the next afternoon, in an unfamiliar hotel room. Huh. Good thinking, drunk-me. My shirt is rumpled, but nothing a little grace can't fix. My coat is lying near the door, probably the first thing I discarded on the way to the bed. My shoes are lying haphazardly by the foot of the bed, and my socks are still in my feet. My pants are still on, and so is my tie.  
  
Not bad at all, considering the last thing I remember is spotting the other Yuri in the gala. Maybe he was the one who helped me get a room before I got too rowdy.  
  
\--  
  
I spend the whole plane ride back to Detroit rethinking about my past assignments, trying to adjust my point of view about them, trying to accept that I didn't fail, like Minako-sensei told me.  
  
As I step into the room I share with Phichit, I try to remind myself of the good things.  
  
Switching to a glass-half-full mentality, I think of what I've done to help Phichit.  
  
First, I moved to Detroit to be Phichit's roommate. Phichit would have been lonely and overwhelmed by America if I wasn't there. He would have been an outcast, since he couldn't speak English well when he first arrived. He wouldn't have anyone to practice conversing with.  
  
He wouldn't have a best friend. He wouldn't have the courage to let himself be his usual happy self in a country so different from his own.  
  
His skating would have been affected, of course. He wouldn't be doing as well as he is now. He nearly qualified for the Grand Prix. Yuuri is sure that Phichit would qualify for it next year, with the way Phichit is so determined to improve after missing the podium.  
  
Maybe if Yuuri hadn't been there, Phichit would have given up on his dream. Maybe because Yuuri was there, Phichit had the support he needed, and that's why Phichit is working so hard right now, even when Yuuri's been reassigned.  
  
Phichit's not depressed. He hasn't lost hope. He hasn't given up.  
  
_Viktor_ is depressed. I have this feeling that he doesn't really have anything to hope for. I have this feeling that Viktor has given up on a lot of things in the span of his career.  
  
He has everything and _nothing._  
  
\--  
  
I spend my last days in Detroit finishing my college degree. I spend my nights sneaking in to the ice rink. I'm not a certified skater, and I don't take part in any competitions. Phichit has long accepted the fact that I'm only a casual skater, though I do have the triple axel mastered, and I can do the other jumps as doubles and singles. I like skating well enough, but I couldn't focus on it with my undercover job on the side, which also takes a lot of energy.  
  
See, the way my grace works is through emotion and instinct. I was never very good at the technical aspects, no matter how many times Minako-sensei tried to teach me. That's just how I work. If I could have focused my grace to work precisely, I would have. Maybe I would have been able to get results like the other Yuri.  
  
Anyway, I spend my nights skating to Stammi Vicino, Viktor's free program. Since I'm on break, this is the only way I felt like I could connect with him.  
  
It's beautiful, this program. It deserves the record-breaking scores. I can't skate any quads, but I can skate the step sequences just fine. It's absolutely breathtaking.  
  
But it's sad. It's not supposed to be.  
  
I can feel Viktor's longing with every movement. His desire is so profound, so clearly stated: _I don't want to be alone anymore._  
  
I don't... I don't want him to be alone anymore. He doesn’t deserve to be alone. He deserves all the happiness in the world. He deserves someone who'll dance to this song with him—a duet.  
  
A pair skate.  
  
He should have someone to cherish, someone who'll cherish him right back. Someone who'll meet him halfway, someone who'll love him just because he's Viktor and not because of what Viktor has accomplished.  
  
There's someone out there just for Viktor, I'm sure.  
  
Maybe I can teach that person the choreography to Stammi VIcino.  
  
\--  
  
"It's not the last time we'll see each other, Phichit," I tell my friend fondly, squeezing him back as hard as he's squeezing me.  
  
"It better not be, Yuuri! And promise me you'll update your SNS accounts more often!" Phichit cried. We're making a scene at the airport, but it doesn't matter.  
  
"I'll try. I'll miss you, Phichit," I murmur. The boarding call for my flight can be heard through the airport speaker. "I have to go."  
  
"I'll miss you too, Yuuri. Call me. Text me. DM me. Don't forget, okay?" He asked, tears clinging to his excellently-mascara'd eyelashes.  
  
"I won't forget, Phichit. I promise. I'll see you later!" I shout the last part as I walk away. I can barely see where I'm going through the haze of tears in my eyes.  
  
I'll miss him, but Phichit will be fine. He's strong.  
  
\--  
  
When I get off the train at Hasetsu station, Minako-sensei is waiting for me, looking years younger than her actual human body age. Her wings are nowhere in sight, tucked into the ether like my own wings. She hugs me tightly. I was half-expecting her to be holding up a banner, but she's not, thank goodness.  
  
I thought I'd spend the rest of my break in Hasetsu, so here I am. As we get closer to Yutopia Akatsuki, I realized I missed the Katsukis a lot. The Nishigoris, too.  
  
I don't know why my instincts told me to appear as a human child when I was assigned to the Katsukis. However, the kind Katsuki Toshiya had no qualms with taking in a very distant, recently deceased relative's only child, and the even kinder Katsuki Hiroko immediately asked me to call her as Okaasan. The tough and scary-looking daughter then followed suit, proudly declaring, "I'm gonna be your Mari-neesan from now on, kid!"  
  
At the time, all I thought about was how I shouldn't have introduced myself as a kid. After all, what could a kid do to help? A grown-up man would have been better. I could have helped with running the inn/onsen/restaurant more.  
  
But... following Minako-sensei's insistence that I didn't fail the Katsukis nor the Nishigoris... That means I did the right thing.  
  
I did the right thing. I let myself call Toshiya-san as Otousan. I let him teach me how to take care of the inn in the little ways I could. I brought home excellent grades and let him be proud of me. I let him introduce me as his son, after filing the official paperwork for adoption.  
  
I let myself enjoy Hiroko-san's mothering. I let myself eat all the delicious food she made for me, always showering her with praise after. I let her be as affectionate as she liked and I returned her affections whole-heartedly, unashamedly even as I got mildly bullied for it in the local school.  
  
I let myself be the little brother. I let Mari-neesan tease me occasionally. I let her protect me when I got bullied. I listened to her, and I played with her, and I watched as she embraced the role of big sister completely, learning responsibility as she did so. I watched her ignore her inner rebel, watched as she embraced her family instead of drifting away from them completely. I helped her understand that family meant more to her than her emo j-rock bands.  
  
If I wasn't there, Toshiya-san would have focused on running the inn, forgetting the family he loved so much. Hiroko-san would have mourned the child she couldn't bear, the boy she had hoped for. She would have smothered Mari, and Mari would have escaped the very first chance she had. Mari would have never looked back.  
  
The family would have been miserable and Yutopia Akatsuki wouldn't have survived the economic crisis, just like the other onsens in Hasetsu.  
  
Okaasan greets me with a smile at the foyer, and I smile back, and I hug her as tight as I could. Otousan is not far behind, as is Mari-neesan.  
  
These are the people I've been assigned in the past, and I love them. They may not be my biological family, but that's okay. I love them just the same, and I know they love me just as much.  
  
It's like the years I spent abroad never happened.  
  
\--  
  
I visit Ice Castle Hasetsu the next day with my skates in my backpack. Although my Stammi Vicino routine should be a secret, I want to show it to Yu-chan. She's a long-time Viktor Nikiforov fan, after all, and even if she's not my assignment anymore, she's still a dear friend. I want to make her happy in anyway I can, and seeing Viktor's routine up close should be a treat for her since she couldn't attend the Grand Prix in person.  
  
  
There isn't any music, but it doesn't matter. I may not be able to do quads, but I have no problem connecting to the piece emotionally. I have no problem with showing my emotions to right people. And skating Stammi Vicino...  
  
This is me, reaching out. An invitation. I think that this piece is better interpreted as an invitation: entice the watcher to stay close and never leave, as opposed to making the watcher feel like the person it's meant for is leaving to an unreachable place and never looking back at the person behind them.  
  
I can feel Nishigori Takeshi's presence in the rink somewhere. Their three children were there as well, huddled somewhere close to the rink entrance. The triplets, that's important. I don't know why, but that's what my instincts tell me.  
  
My chest heaves as I take the final pose, in time with the music in my head.  
  
_Come to me and stay. I'll take care of you._  
  
\--  
  
Wait, did I just...?  
  
_Come to me and stay._  
  
Did I really...?  
  
_I'll take care of you._  
  
I... What was I thinking? Did I send that to the ether?  
  
\--  
  
When Takeshi calls to inform me that the triplets had uploaded the video to the internet, I felt goosebumps all over my body.  
  
It's like a psychic suggestion, only with grace. 100% effective.  
  
Why did this concentrated burst of grace have to happen now? Usually my grace comes out in fits and starts, spreading over to a general idea: something to reduce Otousan's stress, something to make Okaasan smile.  
  
Whatever I did after would help my objective. But this time, with that direct order... I have no doubt that the influence would be immense, if it hits the target.  
  
And even if I was skating in front of Yu-chan earlier, the target was undoubtedly Viktor. I've been skating Stammi Vicino for him from the start.  
  
I turn off my phone and toss it over the side of my bed.  
  
I stare at the ceiling as I think of my actions. And then, remembering what thought just passed in my mind...  
  
_I've been skating Stammi Vicino for him from the start._  
  
I've been skating it for him for nearly a year.  
  
Have I been sending out that grace suggestion _"Come to me and stay, I'll take care of yo_ u _"_ from the start as well?  
  
I can't remember, but the possibility is high. _What have I done?_ Considering the distance between St. Petersburg and Detroit, the effect would have been muted, but still! And now that it's in the internet, it's practically guaranteed that Viktor would see it.  
  
It takes me a long time to fall asleep and when Okaasan wakes me in the morning, there's snow outside. An inexplicable snowfall that's very probably caused by my troubled grace.  
  
\--  
  
My mind blanks when I get jumped by a poodle.  
  
_Vicchan?_  
  
The toy poodle had been a gift to me when I was a child. I'd left him in the Katsukis' care when I left for Detroit, and I hadn't seen him since then. I won't ever see him again aside from pictures.  
  
This poodle is too big, anyway. And it looks eerily familiar.  
  
_Ma—Makkachin?!_  
  
"Doesn't he look just like Vicchan? He came with a handsome foreigner earlier. He's in the onsen now," Otousan states.  
  
I can feel all the blood draining from my face as I hurry to stand and sprint to the onsen.  
  
_It happened. It really happened._  
  
I don't know why I'm still surprised that it did, after thinking about it the whole night. Still, laying eyes on a naked Viktor in the Yutopia outdoor onsen is heart-stopping.  
  
"Yuuri!"  
  
Breathtaking.  
  
"From now on--"  
  
Life-changing.  
  
"I'll be your coach!"  
  
...What?  
  
He even says it with a hand flourish, like it's more believable that way.  
  
\--  
  
I somehow survived that initial meeting. I still can't believe it. There's a Russian Living Legend sleeping on our floor, hugging his poodle close.  
  
"Yuuri!!!" Minako-sensei shouts as she rushes over the threshold. "What did you do?"  
  
Right. Minako-sensei would have understood the grace-suggestion laced through the video. She stops in her tracks when she lays her eyes on my sleeping charge.  
  
I shoot her a small, sheepish smile. _You don't need to tell me how foolish I've been, sensei. I already know._  
  
Minako-sensei furrows her brows and scowls at me. _Take responsibility for this, Yuuri!_  
  
I gulp nervously. _I-I will!_  
  
Viktor wakes with a sneeze. His green jinbei slides down one shoulder. I'm pretty sure that my heart skipped a beat. He asks for food and I jump on the chance to have him taste the blessing that is Okaasan's katsudon.  
  
"Vkusno!!!" Viktor declares, and boy, am I proud of that heartfelt smile.  
  
"Do you eat this often?" Viktor asks after a moment. I nod enthusiastically.  
  
"Every day since I went back to Hasetsu!" I reply, still somewhat dazed due to prolonged exposure to his smile and marveling at the fact that Viktor was using chopsticks without any problems. _Is that a side-effect of my grace? Probably not. He travels a lot, he's probably eaten with chopsticks before._  
  
"No wonder you're out of shape! We have to get your weight to competition standards before I can even coach you, Yuuri!" Viktor declares. Cue the surprised gasps from everyone. Including me. If I had food in my mouth I would have spit it all over the table. _Is he serious? Why does he want to be my coach? Where did he get that idea? Why am I not saying anything against it?_  
  
"You convinced him to skate competitively?" Okaasan asks happily. "That's wonderful!"  
  
"Huh. Not bad," Mari-neechan grunts. "We've been trying to get him to do that for years."  
  
"Whaaaaat? Yuuri's joining a competition? Why did I only hear about this now?" Minako-sensei screams in my ear, hugging me tightly.  
  
"Please take care of our Yuuri, then," Otousan says with a small bow to Viktor.  
  
"C-Can't breathe..." I wheeze out.  
  
"Let him go, Minako-san. Besides, I need him to do something about the boxes," Mari-neechan says. Minako-sensei releases me from her grip with a pout.  
  
"What boxes?" I ask.  
  
"Your guest's boxes, what else?"  
  
\--  
  
Moving what seemed like all the contents of Viktor's apartment into our small banquet hall is nontrivial. If I didn't have my grace to draw strength from, I'd have done half of it the next day. As it is, I was panting for breath on the floor after bringing the last box into the room, while Viktor still looked like the perfect male specimen that he is.  
  
He leaned close and moved to hold my hand. _That loose jinbei is very dangerous to my self-control._  
  
I got so distracted that I only heard the tail end of what Viktor was saying about getting to know each other better. My first instinct was to get as much space between us as possible, and I backed away in a hurry.  
  
When I looked back at Viktor, he looked... He looked hurt and confused and disappointed, though he wiped the expression off his face after a few seconds.  
  
_Ah..._  
  
"Uh, why don't we... um, let's go visit Ice Castle Hasetsu, Viktor! I'll introduce you to Yu-chan and Nishigori, and the triplets too!" I blurt out, hoping it would work. That expression on Viktor's face... I can't stand it. I don't really know Viktor yet, but I want to get to know him. He just startled me, that's all.  
  
An ice skating rink should make him happy, shouldn't it? The place may be unfamiliar, but the ice is universal. And from what I can tell, Viktor still loves the ice. He can still skate routines that can move the heart of anyone watching, after all.  
  
It's everything off the ice that's making Viktor unhappy. There isn't really anything in particular that stands out, but when I pored over Viktor's file, it's clear that his status as a Living Legend had eclipsed all the other parts of his life.  
  
Victor had uprooted his life just because of Yuuri's accidental viral video. He'd done it so easily, so quickly, like his life back in St. Petersburg didn't matter.  
  
Grace-suggestion or not, it was Viktor's decision to bring most of his things with him. It was Viktor's decision to jump on a plane at the earliest available flight to Japan. It wasn't right. I'm not sure the man even informed his coach about his decision to go to Japan, in fact.  
  
_I have to take responsibility for this._  
  
I haven't decided if I'm really going to let Viktor coach me. I don't know if I'm really going to compete anywhere, either. But if I refuse, what then? I don't want to drive him away, after all the trouble he went through to come to me.  
  
\--  
  
It's obvious to me that he belongs on the ice. He's so captivating, each movement done just right to draw everyone's attention to him. He's freestyling, smiling, and my decision was sound. Viktor already looks more relaxed and he's only been on the ice for a few minutes.  
  
"The little piggy can't get on the ice until he loses some weight," he sing-songs as he glides through a simple step sequence. My left eye twitches behind my glasses.  
  
"...Are you really serious about coaching me?" I ask, leaning on the boards and not making a move to enter the rink. Viktor screeches to a stop.  
  
"Of course!"  
  
"I haven't joined a competition before. Am I even allowed to join a local competition, never mind an international competition? The best jump I have is the triple axel, and I can only do the other jumps as doubles and singles," I state bluntly.  
  
Viktor skates closer to me slowly, answering as he does so. "It's okay if you haven't joined one before. I'm not sure about the rules here in Japan, but I'm sure it'll be fine! I'll research it, don't worry! And you don't have to worry about your jumps. I'll teach you the ones you don't know. That's my job as a coach!"  
  
He comes to a stop _right in front of me_. This guy has no concept of personal space... unless he's still being affected by my grace-suggestion? I didn't specify how close he should come, though. It takes a whole lot of self-control not to flinch away. My brilliant idea to relax him will be for naught if I do that.  
  
Does the air seem a bit thinner, or is it just me?  
  
"A-Ah..." I can feel my face turning redder as he leans closer. I struggle to think of anything else to say. As I turn my eyes away, I suddenly realize something. My gaze snaps back to Viktor's. "But... what about you? Viktor, are you... are you retiring?"  
  
Crap. That's a horrible thing to ask. I shouldn't have asked. But I need to know.  
  
"Hmm... who knows? I don't know yet. For now, I'm only taking a break," Viktor replies seriously.  
  
"What about your coach? Does he know you're here, Viktor? Did you tell him you're taking a break?" I ask worriedly. Now that I'd asked those questions, I decided to just go and ask the rest.  
  
Viktor gives me a small smile. "You're so considerate, Yuuri! Don't worry, I talked to Yakov before I left. He actually walked me to the airport!"  
  
"That's good," I say. And it is. Everything's good.  
  
_Except for the fact that whether or not he goes back to skating now depends on me._  
  
\--  
  
Come nightfall, Viktor goes up to my door and declares, "Let's sleep together, Yuuri!"  
  
My first instinct is to shut the door in Viktor's face. A moment later, Viktor's hurt expression flashes in my mind, along with my earlier thought of _I have to take responsibility for this._  
  
So I opened my door again, just as Viktor was trudging back to his room with Makkachin on his heels. "Your room's not really setup properly yet, so I guess... You can sleep with me just for tonight."  
  
Viktor turns around in surprise, eyes wide and mouth open. "Yuuri...?"  
  
"My bed's big enough if we squish, I think. Or I can get a spare futon and sleep on the floor," I offer, moving back inside my room to make way for Viktor and Makkachin.  
  
Viktor takes one glance at my bed and shakes his head. "Can we share?"  
  
There's an echo, in the ether. Something Viktor subconsciously broadcasted so strongly that I could hear it even without Viktor saying it out loud. _I don't want to be alone anymore._  
  
How could I even think of denying him this?  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, we can share, Viktor," I say even as I blush to the tips of my ears. I duck down to pat Makkachin to hide my face. "Makkachin too."  
  
Once I feel my blush receding, I look up tentatively, only to find Viktor blushing and practically radiating happiness as he looks back at me.  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I wanna know what you think about this fic. The first-person pov bothers me, so let me know if it's ooc or what. :)


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